I was 10 years old in that picture- driving a boat. Hidden under the smile, I was only hours from hell and so desperately wanting to kill myself.
A very rare smile—an illusion—surfaced only in those narrow moments between relentless and merciless tides of pain that shattered my very sense of reality and self, leaving me gasping for life, sanity, and any shred of relief from a pain most will never understand.
I was 8 years old when I suffered my first (of over 11,000) Chronic Cluster Headaches, beginning a miserable and terrifying lifelong journey.
A Trip Straight To a Hell that most cannot comprehend; 2 times every day for the next 15 years. There’s no running away. Nowhere to hide. Drugs do not help. Not one moment of relief. Nothing can be done; Just, smile. Act normal. And Wait… Wait for it…The Mind-Raping Pain.
Hidden under the smile in that picture is a childhood scarred by physical and sexual abuse, hidden suicide attempts, self-mutilation, betrayal by loved ones, and the most raw, lucid pain ever measured.
Every morning began with a 3 hour marathon of pure-white-hot pain; consuming my daily life, sending the 10 year old me deep into an adult world where I would spend decades a drug-addicted alcoholic whose been to prison, involved with gangs, murder attempts on me and a journey through daily fear few will ever know; or even grasp.
With Absent Parents and No Way to Cope, I Became the Pain I Was Running From.
I’M VERY FORTUNATE
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MY HEADACHES WENT AWAY
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MOST KIDS’ WON’T
Today, I’m a dad and business owner in my 50s, hoping to help other children avoid the shitstorm that was my life.
EXTREMELY RARE— Migraines, for example, impact roughly 12% of people. This means cluster headaches are more than 100 times more rare than migraines, making them one of the rarest—and most painful types of headache disorders.
Compared to migraines, Cluster Headaches affect less than 0.1% of the total population.
Cluster Headaches: [Definition] “characterized by cluster periods lasting from 7 days to 1 year, separated by pain-free remissions of at least 3 months.”
REFERENCE: Someone is more likely to:
…than to suffer from Cluster Headaches.
EXCEPTIONALLY RARE— While cluster headaches already affect less than 0.1% of the population, chronic cluster headaches are even more rare making chronic cluster headaches not only one of the most severe pain disorders, but also one of the rarest, even among those who already suffer from cluster headaches.
Compared to migraines, Cluster Headaches affect less than 0.01% of the total population.
Chronic Cluster Headache: [Definition] “Attacks occur for more than 1 year without remission.”
REFERENCE: Someone is more likely to:
…than to suffer from Chronic Cluster Headaches.
EXTRAORDINARILY SCARCE—While cluster headaches already affect less than 0.1% of the population, chronic cluster headaches in children are so much more extraordinary. This condition is estimated to affect fewer than 0.005% of all children, making it not only one of the most excruciating pain disorders, but also one of the rarest medical conditions in existence—even among those who already suffer from Cluster Headaches.
Compared to migraines, Chronic (daily) Cluster Headaches in children affect less than 0.004% of the total population. That means a child is 24,000x (times) more likely to experience a migraine than the relentless agony of Daily Chronic Cluster Headaches.
REFERENCE: Someone is more likely to:
…than to suffer from Chronic Cluster Headaches as a child.
Fact: This condition is so rare in youths, pediatric neurology and headache guidelines reference the adult diagnostic criteria when evaluating children and adolescents because there’s no data for kids.
“Cluster headache (CH) is the most severe pain condition that can afflict humans.”
Source: National Institute for health:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5901943/
The suicide rate for people who suffer with CH 30x – 40x higher in people who suffer with Cluster Headaches.
Source: The Headache Journal
https://thejournalofheadacheandpain.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s10194-021-01241-7
Cluster Headaches rank at 9.7 or greater on EVERY Pain Scale ever created.
Is experienced by less than 2% of the total population, globally.
Definition: Having 15 or more headaches per day per month, with at least 8 of those being migraine days, for 3 months or longer. [Source] These can be incredibly painful and in some cases the pain can be so severe that it prevents sufferers from leading any normal life at all.
A life considered typical or usual. This includes things like the ability to hold a steady job, maintain basic friendships or even having the ability to be involved a romantic relationship or marriage.
–Migraine ranks at a 5.4 on the Fischera Pain Scale.
This pain is pretty gnarly ranking between Fibromyalgia at a 5.2 (same as a broken bone) and a Slipped Disc at a 5.9 (same as a gunshot wound). Indeed, very, very painful especially considering less than 2% of people actually suffer from Chronic Migraines.
There are 3,700 children (approx 0.005%) who suffer from Chronic Cluster Headaches EVERY DAY in the US.
Send as many children for treatment as possible.
TRUTH: As you read this sentence—There’s are hundreds of children in this very moment— The same fake smile, empty heart, filled with rage, hate, hurt and the going through the same unimaginable and inconceivable pain.
A Cluster Headache is shredding through their brain, ripping and tearing their heart and hope into a trillion pieces; over and over and over.
I only suffered from a mere 2 – 3 headaches a day.
Some children suffer up to SIXTEEN Cluster Headaches every single day.
BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE CHILD DESERVES
~A Child’s Life ~
A life filled with Hope and Love and Peace and Comfort
FULL STOP. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I’ve kept these dark secrets for 50 years… God, I hope this works!
Although there have been many trials in the search for a cure for Chronic Cluster Headaches over the years, we finally have solid, double-blind tested exciting results!
Recent studies have explored the potential of psychedelics such as psilocybin and LSD for treating cluster headaches. One comprehensive review published in SAGE Journals discusses clinical and observational evidence for the effectiveness of psilocybin and LSD in preventing cluster headache attacks. Read the full article here.
Additionally, a Phase 2 trial known as the LICIT study is currently investigating the use of low-dose LSD as a preventive treatment for chronic cluster headaches. See the study details on ClinicalTrials.gov.
Many parents might cringe when they read that. The “cringe” will fade the very second they let the sigma go.
I don’t see how any parent who has seen their child go through something like this would EVER deprive them from this potentially life-saving treatment.
Family members getting me drunk and sexually molesting me were my first memories. Living with sexual, emotional and physical abuse lasting over 15 years, I also lived with Cluster Headaches from ages 8 through 23 years old—the most painful condition known to modern science; aka, “Suicide Headaches.” But as brutal as they are, they weren’t the worst thing I’ve lived through.
I was abused repeatedly as a kid. The kind of hurt that doesn’t just go away—it buries itself in your heart and in your bones. I was betrayed when I was young, and it changed me. I went from being an innocent child to a broken tween and graduated to being a fucked up teenager filled with pain I didn’t know how to carry.
I started smoking and using drugs and liquor by age 11—anything to quiet the screaming in my head and the chaos in my heart. Meth. Heroin. Crack. Crank. Pills. Acid. Cocaine. Booze, even propellants and paint and gas huffing all at 11 years old and I was a full-blown addict by 12 and I stayed that way for 40 years—numbing myself every single day. I wasn’t just destroying myself—I was hurting others too. I committed crimes. I hurt strangers. I broke the hearts of people who loved me, and of those I love… Including my own children.
I’ve made terrible choices—sometimes just to survive. Sometimes out of self destruction and even pure selfishness. Sometimes for “fun”. I certainly was not innocent. But I didn’t start out that way. I was just a lost and wounded kid trying to escape the wreckage inside me.
And I’m not alone…
FAST FORWARD
Having suffered with Cluster Headaches for 10 years coupled with mental, sexual, physical and substance abuse,
of a sex crime and sentenced to 3 years in a Maximum Security Penitentiary. Our “justice system” got it very wrong in a very bad way. You can read more about that in the book. Now at 18 I found myself in one of the TOUGHEST Maximum Security Prisons for three years with real killers and real predators.
***Spoiler*** My very first night in prison I was in the cell next to a man who had his head crushed-in and beaten to death with a table leg; right in front of me. It was very messy.
I was released at 21 and came out harder, angrier, meaner, bitter and more like a real criminal.
I’ve lived on the streets panhandling for money. I’ve been a drug dealer (in pounds of Meth, not kiddie stuff). I’ve been molested and raped. I’ve made and lost millions. I’ve been the beaten victim and I’ve also been the abuser. I was used as a sex toy by adults and a medical test subject for the pharmaceutical industry. I’ve had my face and skull crushed-in (in real life, not a metaphor). Smashed two fingers clean off. Survived being stabbed. Involved in 3 deadly high speed car “accidents” resulting in millions in damages almost killing me and over 10 others. I’ve been targeted, betrayed, and survived 4 separate murder attempts.
That’s the very short list.
A new study was released May 29th, 2025 which has discovered new and EXTREMELY EXCITING results for anyone who suffers with Chronic Cluster Headaches. Please read about that study here:
Sage Journals – May 2025 Medical Trail and Study. This is a miracle!
We will use the vast majority of the proceeds from the sale of this book to send children overseas to receive treatments for long-term relief from their suffering.
This website will have an “open accounting” so anyone and everyone can review our books and how we spent the money.
NO SECRETS with fully published bank statements.
All decisions made are strictly between the children and their parents. We are merely funding trips overseas with book sales.
We are a 100% Privately Owned and Funded LLC so there are no outside entities (governmental, educational, medical or otherwise) who can tell us how to spend our, (the) money.
I say “our money” because if you participate, it’s your money too and we are a family working together for the kids.
We Are All One Family, after all…
We’ll be keeping “Open Books” here on the website for the public to view.
This includes a full accounting of book sales, bank statements and any other expenses will be posted here on this website and updated hourly 24/7.
We are currently working on the code to show live P&L, running bank totals and all expenses in-real-time.
Ultimately, it always comes down to one man or woman. Given my business acumen and Chronic Cluster Headache childhood experience, that man is me.
We currently own, run and manage several other successful business entities and we are more than qualified.
Don’t like it? Don’t buy the book.
As we are not profitable (and will not be profitable) until we reach $47k in sales. This is my life’s passion and I will personally handle all the bills, sales and help fulfill all orders.
Once we hit profitability, we will hire a CPA located in Nevada, where our business is structured and located. My son and live in Las Vegas as well.
Cluster Headaches | The Most Painful Condition known to Modern Medicine.
Sources: Brain Search, Wikipedia, The Migraine Trust.org and The very long list goes on…
Why???
To prevented what happened to me…
Non-Profit organizations are usually a scam to some degree or else they wouldn’t need to hide behind a 501 c3 and use the government for their protection; at least in my experience it’s only to avoid taxes.
We’ve got nothing to hide, so we will be paying ALL TAXES and keeping 100% “Open Books” here on the website for the public to see how every dime is spent.
Allowing outside entities to dictate the course of my treatment was the biggest mistake of my life…
And that’s saying a lot.
More than all the trouble I got into, bad decisions made and pain I caused over the years, the worst decision I EVER made was allowing those greedy little blood-sucking leaches (medical “professionals”, insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies and governmental agencies) to dictate the course of my treatment. They only ever threw prescription after prescription at the problem and drained our bank accounts.
Fuck em! Want something done right? Here I am… Assholes.
THE GENERAL OVERVIEW BREAKS DOWN LIKE THIS
It’s taken me over 40 years to get my shit together after being diagnosed with cluster headaches at eight years old.
Half of my life was a train wreck of drugs, abuse, pain and mental fuckery with a WHOLE LOT OF adventures along the way.
Now, 40 years later, as a dad, and successful business owner (x3) I’m on a mission to try and help other children who suffer from this horrible condition.
As I was also being sexual abused (ages 3 – 16) at the same time as dealing with the Cluster Headaches, my life was sent in a direction it probably wouldn’t have otherwise gone; if I had only been able to manage the pain; just a little.
Be that as it may, I have acquired quite a life story and I hope to share it in an effort to raise awareness and money to help other children who suffer like I did.
It’s that simple. If you have questions, just ask. I’m an “open book”; literally. Just don’t be dick or we’ll block you for life.
I AM NOT TOUGH. I AM NOT A BADASS. I AM NOT STRONG. I HAD NO CHOICE.
I AM WEAK AND BROKEN AND CHALLENGE NOBODY TO ANYTHING.
This is the wrong site for that macho shit; take it elsewhere.
We are ONLY LOVE. ♥
We need as much support as possible!
You’ll hear directly from the children and their families about how your support has helped them!
Also included in every Newsletter will be monthly discounts with our Partner Companies,
You’ll hear directly from the children and their families about how your support has helped them!
Meet and read about other supporters and like-minded people who are making a huge difference in the world of Helping Children.
Also included in each Newsletter is our Monthly Financial Report, partnerships and more!
Physicians and medical experts will talk about new and exiting research in the field of Cluster Headaches and neuroscience.
YOU are our advertising budget and we rely heavily on kind supports like you to continue working with kids and providing the support they desperately need.
Every Share, Like and even a simple mention in a conversation helps us get one step closer to helping kids in need!
SO DON’T BE SHY!!!
Any exposure, even just a simple share on social media helps!
We cannot help every child. We are a small company with a very finite mission and limited resources.
Our Mission Targets are children ages 3 – 14 years old, with only the very worst Cluster Headaches.
We take donations in any form as long as it helps!
THIS INCLUDES:
SO DON’T BE SHY!!!
Any exposure, even just a simple share on social media helps!
